WWE Has Lost “Its Primary Function” to Entertain Wrestling Fans. That quoted phrase came from Lars Sullivan’s first words on WWE TV.
Meanwhile, WWE might deliver a women’s match in Saudi Arabia for Super Showdown. WWE might try resurrect attitude to appease the USA Network.
KOP updates the latest on Super Showdown. He also follows up on the major independent’s mission to take advantage of WWE weak TV product.
Jon Moxley wins New Japan Gold. Sasha has a summit with Vince.
We also review the cringe-worthy Lars Sullivan first ever interview. For posterity, here is how PWTorch reported it.
-Kayla stood in the ring. Lars made his ring entrance. She asked what drives him to do the things he does. Lars asked: “Would you ever ask a nightingale why they sing their sweet song or why a lion methodically stalk their prey before sinking their teeth in the flesh and viciously ripping it apart? Then why would you ask what drives a man like me?” She tried to answer the rhetorical question, but he pulled the mic back and said he realizes he is no regular man. He said his entire life he’s been described by one word. “Do you know what the word is, Kayla? Say the word!” he said. She looked reasonably intimidated. He said he’s been called this word his entire life, so he can take it. “Freak,” she said.
Lars took some deep breaths and said, “When a lion performs its primary function, people call it a lion. When I perform my primary function, people use that particular word. My primary function is to hurt, maim, dissect, vivisect, and dehumanize people!” He paced and then said his primary function is to show the fans the world isn’t full of rainbows and sunshine, but rather real life freaks of nature like him. Kayla asked if that’s what he hopes to teach Lucha House Party at Super Showdown. Fans began chanting “Lucha!” Lars laughed and asked Kayla if she likes nursery rhymes. “Three blind mice, watch how they run, watch how their caught, watch how their tails are ripped apart with my bare hands and the beautiful portrait that is painted with their bodily fluids.”
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